Crazy Faith

"Love is patient, love is kind, it only strikes the lucky twice, once so you will know the price, and once for crazy faith."

~Allison Krauss & Union Station, Crazy Faith

Despite everything going on in my father's life when we were young, he took us to church every Sunday we were with him. Despite our complaints and childish whining, we'd pile in the Nissan Ultima and file obediently into St. Joe's, cutting a quick left to hide in the candle room. 
 


I wish I knew the formal name of that brick walled, low ceilinged, cave of a niche. Walls lined with red tiered candle frames, melted wax embedded into the brick floors, berber carpet stained with soot and smelling of smoke, incense and earth.
 


We'd hide in that cave, away from stares and silent judgement, surrounded by the dull glow of a hundred prayers of candle light. Sometimes I'd find a dropped coin and get to light one myself, but other times I'd watch the flickering dance and wonder who it burned for, and what happened when it was finally snuffed out. 
 


"You're not askin' if I love this man, I know you don't, you don't believe you can. But I've seen love open like a dancer's fan, it's crazy I know, but my faith says so, it tells me..."
 


I've witnessed miracles of faith through my father. I've watched his plagued relationship with God walk him through the darkest of days. I've watched him play both the angel and the devil in this theater of life. But by his crazy faith, I've found my own, and have never known a love so true or a peace so deep. 

🖤